Dear Dad: Mark Williams

The Ninth Instalment Of The Series

May 04, 2025

Welcome to Dear Dad

"Dear Dad is a space where fathers reflect on their journey, sharing the wisdom they wish they had before becoming a dad. Each week, a different dad opens up about his experiences, lessons, and insights. This week's letter is from Mark Williams who shares some advice to Dads based on his own birth trauma.
If you could go back and give yourself advice before fatherhood, what would you say?
Share your thoughts in the comments."

Introduction by Gareth Wall

"Mark didn’t just survive birth trauma and depression — he built bridges for other fathers to find their way back to connection, hope, and family."

When I asked Mark Williams to contribute to Dear Dad, I knew he would bring not just his expertise, but something far more valuable — his heart, his honesty, and his lived experience.

What I also knew — and what I want to share with you before you read his letter — is that Mark’s story is far deeper, far braver, and far more important than these few pages can fully capture.

Mark became a father under the most traumatic of circumstances. During the birth of his son, he almost lost his wife. The experience left him reeling, traumatised, and emotionally isolated. Like so many dads, Mark was praised for being “strong,” but underneath, he was struggling with overwhelming anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and an invisible grief that few people recognised.

In those early weeks and months, he found that bonding with his baby wasn’t immediate. It was something he had to work at, slowly and painfully, while navigating the storm inside him.

Sleep deprivation, the pressure to "be strong," and a lack of emotional support pushed Mark deeper into crisis. He turned to negative coping strategies, withdrew from those around him, and carried a growing burden of depression that went unseen and untreated.

At his lowest point, he experienced suicidal thoughts — a devastating reality for many new fathers that society rarely talks about. Mark often shares how he masked his emotions, presenting a brave face to the world while inside he was falling apart.

But instead of staying silent, Mark chose a different path. He chose to speak. To stand up. To transform his pain into purpose.

Since those early, dark days, Mark has become one of the leading voices for fathers' mental health across the UK and beyond.

He has worked tirelessly to raise awareness that fathers, too, can experience perinatal mental health challenges.

He successfully campaigned for a new neonatal unit in Wales, became an ambassador for maternal mental health charities, and founded International Fathers’ Mental Health Day, which fittingly falls the day after Father’s Day every year.

His efforts have not only helped individual dads — they have begun to reshape the systems and cultures that for too long overlooked half of the parenting partnership.

Mark’s impact on a project I run, ‘For Dads By Dads’, has been profound.

His honesty has made it safer for other dads to open up about their own struggles. His encouragement has created a culture where it’s not enough to simply ask, “How are you?” — we now ask, “How are you really doing?”

That simple but powerful shift has helped build a community where dads can share their fears, their doubts, and their triumphs without shame.

Thanks to Mark’s influence, dozens of dads have reached out for support who might otherwise have stayed silent as he’s normalised their feelings.

Through all his advocacy, Mark remains grounded.

He often describes himself as just a “normal dad from the Welsh Valleys,” but the truth is he has been far from ordinary.

He has stood up where many would have stayed silent. Only this week he was at the Senedd in Cardiff (Welsh Government) and it’s hard to keep track of the number of times he has represented Dads and mums at Parliament in London.

He has championed fathers while also standing firmly alongside mothers and babies, knowing that when one parent struggles, the whole family feels it, and when one parent heals, the whole family grows stronger.

His message, given many times over the years and never losing its power, is simple but life-changing:

It’s okay to struggle.

It’s okay if bonding takes time.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s about being better than yesterday.

It’s about getting back up again and again

It’s about being there.

Mark’s Dear Dad letter carries the wisdom of someone who has lived both the darkness and the light of early fatherhood.

It offers encouragement to new dads who might find themselves struggling, and a quiet reassurance that even if the path is hard, connection, healing, and joy are possible.

As you read his words, know that behind them stands a man who has lived what he writes — who has walked through trauma, fought for his mental health, and emerged with a fierce compassion for every father who follows after him.

I’m proud to call Mark a friend.

I'm deeply grateful for his voice in this project, and even more grateful for the thousands of unseen ways his bravery has made life better for so many families.

His journey reminds us that by sharing our struggles, we build bridges for others to cross.

Here is Mark Williams' Dear Dad letter.

Dear Dad,

First of all, I wish you the very best on one of life's most exciting journeys, and one that can also be the most challenging at times. As a dad, a campaigner for better care for dads, and someone who has worked with thousands of fathers over the years, I can tell you one thing: there's no such thing as a perfect father. You will make mistakes, and you will find times hard, but my advice is to be genuine. The more quality time you spend, not just quantity, the more amazing the experience will be.

I found it extremely difficult with my son, who is now nearly 21 years old. My wife was unwell, and I had to work everything out myself. I often felt alone and isolated. Sleep deprivation can also significantly affect a dad's mental health. It's so important that you take care of yourself; this will enable you to better care for your family and your baby.

Many fathers struggle for various reasons, but with hard work and education, thanks to Gareth and many others, it can become easier. It's always great meeting other fathers going through the same transition. It's important to talk to people if you're struggling and not to suffer in silence. I was a dad who kept things to myself, and that wasn't helpful. My wife felt that I wouldn't open up to her. I turned to negative coping skills, which led to me struggling and becoming unwell.

I've worked with healthcare professionals over the last 15 years, and sometimes it can be hard when they don't ask how *you* are doing. Thankfully, many dads now openly share their feelings, and this helps in the long term.

A father plays a major part in a child's development, and there's clear evidence that when both parents are supported, it leads to far better outcomes for the whole family and the child's development. It's okay not to know everything, and there are amazing resources available, like the Best Beginnings apps and books.

There are many reasons why dads may feel overwhelmed at times, and you are not alone, nor are you weak. The quicker you seek help, the quicker your recovery will be. Always make sure you ask health professionals if you are unsure about something, and empower yourself with the knowledge that you know what is best for your child.

I wish I knew then what I know now. I have, and still have, an amazing bond with my son, and I have loved everything about being a dad, which is bigger than any other success I have had as an author and keynote speaker, travelling around the world. I have replaced all the material things with just spending time with the most important people in my life.

I wish you all the best on your journey, and remember, you are a father, and you can give your child the greatest gift in life, which will also help them when they become parents, maybe one day, too.

Mark

Meet Mark Williams

🧑 Who they are: In 2004, he faced his own struggle with depression, enduring years of silence until he sought help through community mental health services. He established International Fathers Mental Health Day and the #HowAreYouDad campaign, aiming to ensure that all parents receive the support they need for themselves and their families. Mark also spearheaded the campaign to restore the mother and baby unit in Wales, which successfully reopened its doors in 2022 after a seven-year closure.

In recognition of his efforts, Mark received the Inspirational Father of the Year and Local Hero awards at the Pride of Britain Awards in 2012, where he was also honoured with an invitation to meet the Royal Family on World Mental Health Day. Additionally, he was presented with the Point of Light Award by the Prime Minister in 2019.

In 2020, Mark published the report titled "Fathers Reaching Out – Why Dads Matter," emphasising the crucial role of paternal mental health in fostering better outcomes for families and child development when fathers are involved.

In 2025, Mark was nominated for the steering group for ‘First 1001 Days Movement’. A group to campaign about the importance of the emotional well-being of babies.

🌍 Where to find them:

Tedx

Book - Daddy Blues: Postnatal Depression and Fatherhood

Fathers and Perinatal Mental Health: A Guide for Recognition, Treatment and Management

Film - Daddy Blues

Intsagram

💬 What did this letter make you think about? Drop a comment below.

Come and Write Your Own ‘Dear Dad’ Letter?

It’s not just Dads, I'm thinking a few grandads, foster dads, adoptive dads, mums writing to dads would be fantastic to hear from too. So please let me know if you are and you’d like to write a post.✍️ We’d love to feature your story in an upcoming ‘Dear Dad’ post. If you’d like to write a letter to your past self before becoming a dad, drop me a DM.

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