Dear Dad: Christopher Lind

The first edition of Dear Dad Where Christopher Lind writes a letter to himself prior to becoming a father.

Welcome to Dear Dad

"Dear Dad is a space where fathers reflect on their journey, sharing the wisdom they wish they had before becoming a dad. Each week, a different dad opens up about his experiences, lessons, and insights. This week's letter is from Christopher Lind, who shares an incredibly raw and powerful reflection on his journey into fatherhood. If you could go back and give yourself advice before fatherhood, what would you say? Share your thoughts in the comments."

My idea to create Dear Dad as a side project within my regular Be a Super Dad posts came from my desire to amplify more dad voices. In the face-to-face sessions I run, I’ve seen first-hand the power of dads being vulnerable: despite the adage that men “don’t talk,” many dads and dads-to-be open up about their worries and anxieties around fatherhood. It’s a truly profound experience, and I’m honoured to be part of a group of dads who strive to be their best by reflecting on their journeys and sharing their day-to-day challenges.

This series is an online space meant to mirror that sense of community—where we can come together to normalise our imperfections, offer the benefit of hindsight, recognise that being vulnerable is a strength and celebrate fatherhood. I hope it inspires more fathers to share their stories and reassures anyone feeling isolated that they’re not alone.

Introduction by Gareth Wall

I've really enjoyed my chats on Substack with Chris in the short time I've been here. Even in that brief period, I've seen how his wealth of fatherhood experience can illuminate even the smallest moments in family life. I’m grateful he's chosen to share such heartfelt insights in this letter. His perspective is warm, reflective, and deeply thoughtful—qualities I think any dad, whether brand-new or well along the journey, will appreciate.

Reading Christopher’s letter made me think about the fears and expectations we bring into fatherhood. His words resonate deeply—especially his thoughts on embracing personal growth, listening to his wife, and letting go of unhealthy relationships. These are lessons many dads never realise until later on, and it’s a gift that he’s choosing to share them here.

I was particularly struck by how he challenges us to face our past head-on. Fatherhood is so much more than guiding our children; it’s an opportunity for us to heal, grow, and become the dads we wish we had.

What spoke to you the most in Christopher’s letter? Let’s keep the conversation going—drop a comment and share your own thoughts or experiences.

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Dear Christopher,

I know it feels weird to get a letter from your future self, but when have we ever been “normal?” And, come on, we’ve always known technology will change the world, so are you really that surprised?

Now, I know this is cliche, but you’ll want to sit down. What I’m writing to you about is big and unexpected. I’m writing about one of the most important things you’ll ever become. It’s not a fancy job title or career accomplishment. It’s far more important than that. I’m writing to you about being a father.

I know. I know. You’ve been through a lot and are still on the fence about whether children should be in your future. Well, they very much are, and I know you appreciate advanced notice, so consider yourself notified. I won’t share numbers for your own sanity, but you’d be wise to take whatever number is in your head right now and add a lot.

Now, I’m going to share four things with you, so pay close attention. I’m going to give you just the right amount of detail because, while I know you’ll want more, they’ll only be a distraction from the adventure.

Ready? Take a deep breath. I know you’re scared you’ll mess it up. I know you’re worried the things you’ve experienced will pass on to your kids. I promise they don’t, but that’s because you take being a dad seriously. I’m not writing to convince you of that. This letter is to give you a leg up without messing with the experience.

First, I need you to be brave and face everything you’ve been through. Don’t pretend your past hasn’t affected you and that your coping mechanisms are satisfactory. Life has shaped you in profound ways. You’ve been fractured, but you will be put back together. I can promise that because I’m on the other side. However, you need to tackle things head-on because if you don’t, the wounds you’ve experienced will show up in strange and unexpected ways. Now, I know you’re already trying to convince yourself you can beat it by simply ignoring it or doing the opposite. While it sounds good on the surface, you’ll end up repeating history in different but equally painful ways. Do the work.

Next, listen to your wife. Yes, you’re married, and it’s incredible. You’ll have your usual ups and downs, but I promise it’s absolutely worth it. And, if you don’t put off the things I’m telling you, you’ll be able to avoid a lot of the tough days. I’m serious. Now, I’m warning you she will push you to raise kids much differently than you have in your head right now. It won’t look anything like you imagine. That’s a good thing, so don’t fight it. I know you’ll want to, and you’ll justify the fight for a whole bunch of stupid reasons. Don’t! I’m telling you right now that she’s right every time, and that doesn’t diminish your value. Focus on your strengths and trust in hers. She knows more about raising kids than you do, so listen to her.

Okay, number three. You’ll need to let some important people walk out of your life. It’s going to be extremely hard. You’ll feel like you’re letting people down. You’ll feel like you’re failing as a son and want to chase after them. Don’t! You are going to be the head of your own (very large) family, and some unexpected people will not like that. However, you are responsible for doing what’s best for your family regardless of what other people think. Here’s some good news. You won’t have to do the work. They'll remove themselves for you if you’re discerning and stand your ground. Now, I won’t tell you who, but I think deep down you already know. Inside, you’ve always known, but the desire to make everyone proud and your desire to be loved is why you’ve allowed it. It will be okay. I promise. Life is a lot less stressful on the other side.

Here’s number four. Don’t stress about your career or if you’ll be able to provide. Trust me. However, don’t get caught up in planning what it will look like. You’ll know what I mean when you reach each milestone. Again, listen to your wife’s advice along the way, even when it seems like it will tank your career. The path won’t make sense and will consistently make you uncomfortable, but it works out far better than you can imagine. That said, don’t let your drive and aspirations tempt you to take the wrong path. Taking care of your family isn’t about how much money you make or the life you provide (you do fine though, so chill). Ultimately, our kids want nothing more than to be with their dad and have the relationship you never had with yours. You’ll achieve it all, even though the math won’t make sense.

Finally, and this is a bonus, but it’s the most important one of all. I also kept it for the end because you wouldn’t have believed this if I hadn’t gone through the others first and proven how real this letter is. Cling tightly to your faith, and start reading the Bible sooner than later. I know. I know! You’re visibly cringing at this right now, but what you’re cringing at is the Christianity you grew up around, not what Christianity really is. Don’t get caught up trying to be the “good Christian” that has always made you gag. That’s not what God wants from you. Dig into the text, and God will reveal what I mean. He will give you everything you need to accomplish it all, be the best father you can be, and so much more. Keep trusting in Him, and don’t put it on yourself. You already know this, but you make a terrible god.

That’s all for now. Enjoy the ride, and you’re welcome!

Sincerely,

Future Christopher

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Meet Christopher Lind

🧑 Who he is: Christopher Lind is the Executive Advisor of Business Transformation at Christopher Lind Co. A seasoned executive, former Chief Learning Officer, industry analyst, and LinkedIn Top Voice, he is also the host & author of Future-Focused. More importantly, he is a devoted husband and father of eight.

🌍 Where to find him: ChristopherLind.co

💬 What did this letter make you think about? Drop a comment below—Christopher will be here to reply!

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Want to Write Your Own ‘Dear Dad’ Letter?

✍️ I’d love to feature your story in an upcoming ‘Dear Dad’ post. If you’d like to write a letter to your past self before becoming a dad, drop me a DM.

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Reflections on Fatherhood & Coaching

Fatherhood is a journey, and we all figure it out as we go. Through my coaching, I help dads build stronger relationships at home, communicate better, and feel more confident in their role. If you're looking for support in your fatherhood journey, check out my coaching sessions here. Let’s build the kind of dad you want to be."

🔹 Want more dad-focused insights? Read my latest blog posts.